A Real Man…

Posted on Jan 24, 2011 by Matt Marooney No Comments


What is a real man?  What qualities should he possess?  Men are constantly being bombarded with society’s definitions of what true manliness is.  It used to be that men were born and raised as warriors and that was their primary focus.  They lived and breathed that warrior code, and they had pure testosterone and liquid fire running through their veins.

Characters like William Wallace of Braveheart, or Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings come to mind.  Wow, those guys were real men!  They fought hard, believed in something, loved well, and despite their weaknesses, they overcame anything that stood in their path!  Well, that way of life has been long forgotten, and been with convenient complacency.  What does is look like to awaken this warrior spirit in the hearts of men today?  Where is the code of manhood that was so clear to men back then?

This is a list of 100 things I have learned over the past four years about what true manhood is, and what a real man looks like.  These are born out of hard, painful lessons, and while none of us, me included, live these out every moment, this is what I strive to become more and more.  Hope it stirs something inside you…

A Real Man…

  1. Is honest
  2. Keeps his promises
  3. Prays
  4. Loves with abandon
  5. Shares his heart with his wife
  6. Isn’t afraid to show emotion
  7. Doesn’t find his sense of worth in a job or career
  8. Puts his wife’s and children’s needs before his own
  9. Doesn’t require his family to sacrifice before him
  10. Provides for his family
  11. Doesn’t lie
  12. Doesn’t look at pornography
  13. Doesn’t seek approval from other women
  14. Loves himself enough to get help
  15. Admits when he’s wrong
  16. Isn’t afraid of the dark
  17. Isn’t afraid of his wife’s needs
  18. Is tender, kind, and sensitive to feelings
  19. Listens to and hears his wife’s  heart
  20. Isn’t lazy, and doesn’t lie around procrastinating
  21. Works hard
  22. Expresses love in every way, not just the ones he feels like doing
  23. Treats his wife like a queen
  24. Doesn’t care whether or not he’s “respected” because he’s too busy serving his wife and kids
  25. Hugs and kisses his wife “just because” without expectation
  26. Honors and cherishes his own wife
  27. Lays his life down for his wife and children
  28. Seeks to become more like Christ every day
  29. Doesn’t cheat or steal
  30. Speaks and lives life and blessing to his family
  31. Goes out of his way to make sure his wife feels like the only woman in the world
  32. Loves extravagantly
  33. Takes care of himself
  34. Is trustworthy
  35. Treats his wife’s friends and family with honor and respect
  36. Is humble, and doesn’t “require” people to acknowledge it
  37. Doesn’t allow sin or addiction to control him
  38. Doesn’t resist when he needs to change
  39. Goes to counseling
  40. Doesn’t hide his true feelings
  41. Knows it’s not all about him
  42. Makes it all about his wife first, then his kids
  43. Takes responsibility
  44. Initiates healing for his wife’s past hurts
  45. Accepts criticism gracefully
  46. Is patient and gentle
  47. Doesn’t fly off the handle in anger
  48. Strengthens, validates, and encourages his wife
  49. Understands that being the “head” has nothing to do with position or authority
  50. Nurtures and cares for his wife and children
  51. Speaks life into his wife and children
  52. Gives and serves
  53. Doesn’t demand respect and admiration
  54. Goes to any length to protect and bring security to his wife’s heart
  55. He embodies the Word and teaches by example instead of words
  56. Is secure in Christ and finds his Source of Strength in Him alone
  57. Owns his issues, and doesn’t blame others
  58. Asks for forgiveness
  59. Leaves his father and mother
  60. Is not afraid of “bonding” with his wife
  61. Doesn’t seek his own “independence”
  62. Doesn’t hire a housekeeping service instead of helping his wife himself
  63. Doesn’t make his wife “do” the finances
  64. Doesn’t EVER lay in bed waiting for his wife to finish with the kids and housework
  65. Becomes the Love of Christ to his wife
  66. Answers all of his wife’s questions without hesitation
  67. Doesn’t squash his wife’s or children’s dreams
  68. Supports his wife
  69. Isn’t crafty and doesn’t scheme
  70. Doesn’t manipulate others for his own gain
  71. Never makes promises he can’t keep
  72. Doesn’t only fight when he knows he can win
  73. Defends his wife’s honor (even if it makes him look bad)
  74. Helps his kids feel secure by loving his wife in front of them
  75. Does what his wife asks the first time, every time
  76. Is in it for the long haul and isn’t afraid of committing
  77. Does not abuse his wife
  78. Does not teach what he can’t do
  79. Doesn’t require his wife to “go first”, he meets her needs, without condition
  80. Doesn’t say “I love you” just to hear her say it back
  81. Listens to correction and applies it
  82. Shows that he values and treasures his wife above any other relationship in the world
  83. Is romantic
  84. Treats his children with honor and listens to their hearts
  85. Does the dishes, the laundry, and yes, even cleans the toilets
  86. Doesn’t whine and complain
  87. Isn’t afraid to be “weak”
  88. Needs his wife
  89. Doesn’t commit adultery or have affairs
  90. Doesn’t speak  down to his wife, or treat her as “beneath him”
  91. Works as a team
  92. Initiates fun and play in his marriage and family
  93. Takes responsibility for the financial health of his family
  94. Never makes family decisions alone
  95. Never beats his wife or children
  96. Always lets his wife know where he is, who he’s with and if he’s going to be late
  97. Takes responsibility for the spiritual health of his wife and children
  98. Doesn’t EVER treat any other woman (including his mother) better than his wife
  99. Doesn’t require his wife to be “available” for sex when he’s not meeting her needs
  100. Allows God to love him
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